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So
shifty it needs its own separate article: Read the story behind
the curious and unsupported "facts" as presented by
the anti-drug U.S. government site, Media
Campaign
Feo let's them hang by their own non-hemp rope in
TEEN POT USE |
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IN THE NEWS
REAL
HEADLINES - LAMPOON NEWS
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APRIL 24, 2008
CLINTON SAYS SHE LEADS IN POPULAR VOTE
But she says a lot of things.
REID, PELOSI, DEAN MAY PUSH UNCOMMITTED SUPERDELEGATES TO DECIDE NO LATER THAN JULY 1
And if the Democrat Superdelegates don't WANT to decide by July 1? THEN what? Huh? Huh? Huh? Whatchoo gonna do about it? Huh?
CNN NOW SUED FOR 1.3 BILLION - $1 PER PERSON IN CHINA
You know, if you have a MySpace page like I do, you run into an awful lot of folks who are vigorously worried over what the rest of the world thinks of the U.S. They are so actively fretful that the rest of the world doesn't like us: May, perhaps, even hate us (this despite the fact that the U.S. has the world's largest number of foreign nationals trying to live here). At myspace, and other websites, they tell me why the world hates us. They know WHO to blame for all of our ills and problems. But you know, not a week goes by that I don't see stories like this one and want to say to these people: "You're pointing your finger in the wrong direction."
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APRIL 15, 2008
DAVIS APOLOGIZES FOR CALLING OBAMA 'BOY'
But what do you expect in a guy from Kentucky? They call everybody 'boy' there even if that boy is 90 years old! Now it would be different if Davis was from Louisiana where they call everybody - including total strangers fresh off the street - 'Baby'.
"What you want, baby?" "That comes to "$4.99, baby." "Is this your baby, baby?"
I wonder how Barack feels about Californians, who frequently call Obama, 'Dude'. As in "Like, I'm totally voting for, y'know, Hillary? 'Cuz I don't want that dude's finger on the button, y'know?"
'D.C. MADAM' SIGHS QUIETLY AS JURY FINDS HER GUILTY
Then she moaned slightly, and climaxed softly.
RARE, LIFE-SIZED BETTY BOOP STATUE STOLEN
They finally took her Boop-de-boop away!
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THIS IS WHAT THE CHURCH SELLS TO THE FLOCK. THIS IS THE MOST BENIGN POSE THEY COULD GET! |
POPE SAYS HE IS DEEPLY ASHAMED OF 'CLERGY ABUSE' SCANDAL
You know, in this pop-star age of make-up and hair styles and plastic surgery, it is wrong to judge someone who doesn't go for all of that. It is wrong to judge someone's character simply because they're un-photogenic. But that said, these were the best photos I could find of Pope Benedict XVI. I'm not even talking about the photos online that are purposefully touched up to make him look bad. These are the photos released by the Catholic Church! These are the ones they think are the Pope at his BEST! I mean, Wow! This guy has one seriously evil face!
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So I'm looking at that headline, dated April 15, 2008, and I'm thinking, 'Okay, he didn't come forward when this scandal first broke out over 20 years ago. And through the years he didn't come forward when there was enough evidence to go to trial against ... ten priests? Nope.
One hundred priests? Nope.
One thousand priests? Nope.
Ten thousand priests? Nope.
He didn't even come forward then.
HE TRIED TO DRESS CUTE AND FESTIVE FOR CHRISTMAS, AND YET... |
FROM EVERY ANGLE AND AT DIFFERENT TIMES OF THE DAY... |
He didn't come forward when the priests were convicted or when they plead guilty. He didn't come forward when Cardinal Roger Mahoney admitted that there was an entire infrastructure built into the Roman Catholic Church network that basically protected these priests from the law; shuffled them around to other churches and other countries, where the child molestations would continue, and then they'd get shuffled again! He didn't even come forward when the Catholic Church was successfully sued for nearly one billion dollars in California alone (he won't be visiting California, btw)! Pope Benedict even tried to blame the Church's troubles, not on pedophile priests, but on Atheists! It was the athiests that were responsible for all of the troubles in the world! So when does Pope Benedict feel just awful about a world-wide religion that houses an entire, ever rotating massive group of pedophile priests? In 2008, when the Catholic Church is obligated to start PAYING OUT that lawsuit money! Oh, NOW he feels deeply ashamed!
HE JUST LOOKS... WELL, YOU TELL ME! |
Seriously! Approximately ten thousand pedophile priests (that number includes Bishops, Cardinals, and the like) in the United States alone! I guess that might mean that not all Catholic clergy in the U.S. are pedophiles (how many total are in this country? What percent of male Catholic Clergy is about ten thousand?), but even the ones who weren't? They just HAD to know what was going on. They HAD to!
As for the accompanying photos, I've read online how some people look at Pope Benedict XVI's face and see his joyfully bright and inquisitive eyes (these are the people who LIKE him, so the words, "Inquisitive eyes" in describing someone who represents a religion that ordained hundreds of years of horrifying Inquisitions... well, that's just a damn poor choice of words right there!). Now I don't know the guy. For all I know, he's used his last three years of Pope-iness as a preparation to really bring the Catholic religion into the 21st Century: To stop the ordained abetting of all of these child molestors in the church, world-wide; to bring these sick bastards, hiding behind the guise of "Doing the Lord's work", to justice. So I know you can't judge a book by its cover, but when I look at his face, his eyes aren't telling me "bright and inquisitive", but "Meh, Heh! Heh! Heh! Heh! Heeeh!"
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APRIL 3, 2008
NEWSFLASH!: It's 2008 and even though CNN reports weekly on Global Warming, they still don't have an actual Science Section on their news site. In fact, they are the ONLY major news source that DOESN'T have a science section. Even FOXNews has a science section! I guess having all of those ACTUAL leading Climatologists refuting Man-Made Global Warming was getting pretty irritating. They have a Tech Section though; which is really just a bunch of ads for Apple, Microsoft, and the like disguised as news. But don't worry, CNN is ready to give you all of the details concerning the latest on Paris Hilton, Britany Spears, and The New Kids On The Block Reunion Tour! So remember: CNN is your Number One source for the REAL news on Man-Made Global Warming!
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PARENTS: 6-YEAR-OLD DISCIPLINED FOR SEXUAL HARASSMENT
What illuminates this article is that, deep down in the story, this same teacher had her little charges making collages earlier in the year. She provided them magazines to cut out pictures and photos including magazines that featured naked women. Now she feels uncomfortable because her little six year olds are looking at her in a whole new way. Ahem...
POLICE: OMAHA MOM TAUGHT HER KIDS TO USE POT
Well, you don't want them learning it from their 4 year-old friends, do you?
WOMAN STUCK IN BATHTUB FOR FIVE DAYS
Yeah, that's what happens when you get old ... and wrinkled!
LAST OF STRANDED ALOHA PASSENGERS RETURN HOME
Stranded in paradise. Yeah, that sucks.
ISLAMIC FIGHTERS SEIZE EIGHTH SOMALIA TOWN
Just two more and they'll complete their set! And remember, the only reason they are doing this to a small town in Somalia, is to get back at America - which they hate!
BREAKING THE DEMOCRATIC QUAGMIRE
There are only two measley little candidates - just two(!) - and already they are embroiled in a quagmire! Imagine how much fun they'll be when one of them actually takes office and has to face the entire freaking country AND world?
AUTISTIC CHILDREN LINKED TO SAME SPERM DONOR
Sperm banks have always been a great way for both ugly people and social misfits to procreate without actually having to touch each other. But now, one of those ugly social misfits might also be spreading his autistic gene! Some truly hideous women who used sperm donors are concerned and a few even outraged. But what did they expect from an anonymous Jack-off?
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MARCH 10, 2008
FOSSIL SEA MONSTER BIG ENOUGH TO BITE A CAR
But at it's age, prefers creamed corn.
Seriously, what does that headline even mean? I had a dog who would bite cars: Moving cars! He was big, sure, but no sea monster. His name was Bowser. We would shout, " Hey Bowser! Here boy!" and he'd come running. We called him 'Bowser' because 'You Stupid Cop', is a terrible name for a dog. Bowser got hit by a car.
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THE HARDCORE
REAL SITES
OF REAL EXTREMISTS AND THEIR REASONS
Home site
of the #1 False Prophet of the world, Hal Lindsey! He's had so many
of his prophecies crap out that now he only prophecizes about
things that will happen long after he's dead and doesn't have to humiliate
himself anymore. -And he STILL has his followers!
HALLINDSEY
ORACLE.COM
Neal Horsely
is neither racist or sexist, but he is a Christian man who feels that
he is witnessing a great evil: Human Abortion.
This is the site that provides a HIT LIST for would be murderers
of Abortion Clinic Doctors. Think this site is totally evil? You may
be right. But now you have the opportunity to form your own opinion
instead of just having it spoon-fed to you.
CHRISTIAN
GALLERY.COM
Michael
Jackson used to look black, but thanks to numerous surgeries, he's white
(and possibly female). David Duke (now
living in France) used to look Jewish, but thanks to numerous
surgeries, HE's white! Read what new tricks this former KKK Wizard,
(and still pal of former klansman, Sen. Robert Byrd [D]),
with his poofy little doggie, is up to. The way he gushes over us white
folk is enough to make me blush!
DAVID
DUKE
Another
prissy and effeminate hate monger - only he don't like my kind! In the
interest of equal time I did my damndest to find a site by Louie, but
no cigar. Here is the only thing I could find. Louie in his own words.
LOUIS
FARRAKHAN
He made
a movie about his trials and tribulations in promoting his book, DOWNSIZE
THIS. The film, THE BIG ONE, was hailed by critics, but since it trashed
liberal businesses (like Nike) and the Clinton administration, it was crushed by the distributor,
Miramax, which only released it to 33 theaters (according
to the imdb.com).
Since then, to insure good distribution, Michael's curtailed both his freedom of speech and thought,
making only movies frothing with liberalism and fanatically bashing everything
else! Check out Michael Moore in his own words, but better save those
webpages. He tends to erase his contradictions often.
MICHAEL
MOORE |
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